Keeping you updated on your birthday

On one of your previous birthdays many years ago

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Soon after you were assassinated and left us, the Government here named a Road after you … but, as usual, the name started with a 'Seen' (س) instead of a 'Suad' (ص). The Road had been named after you by Nafisa Shah (and Nasreen Jalil helped, too).

I was most upset and wrote to both of them and to Farooq Sattar to please change the name. No response.

I wrote to Awab Alvi, since his father is the President, and Awab was a friend of ours — in fact those two were the first to arrive at JPMC when we took you there — to try and intervene via his Dad. No response. 

Sharif Awan said he'd get it done and tried and tried. Nothing happened.

Isa Daudpota's father's name on the road read Dr Daud Pota. He said he had tried but no one wants to change it. I should give this up.

I tried even going there and painting it but friends told me I could be arrested … so I gave up this idea. After all, who wants to be on the wrong side of the Police, or Rangers, or worse: Bhatta-khors.

This year I started again.

I wrote on FB and Twitter that this had happened and no one has helped.

Kasim K said I should paint it. Two others also said the same thing. I said I'd like this to happen officially. Their responses were really 'snickering' for my waiting for someone to do this.

•

Then I saw a message from Sen Murtaza Wahab of PPP asking me to send him the picture of the road. I sent it to him. He said he wanted a family member to write a letter and state the wrong name and say how the person was related. I spoke to Mimi and she spoke to Marvi who wrote a letter. Mimi signed it and added pictures and off it went.

Two days later we received a picture from Sen MW saying this was temporary but it had the name spelt right. The next morning he sent the final picture and the road was now with a 'Suad'. Wow! I have never seen anyone do anything good that fast in our Governments.

Marvi has worked with Sen MW so she set up a group on What's App with Mimi and him and me … and we reached a point where Mimi said she wanted to place a tree there. He agreed. I insisted that it be before your birthday. He agreed. And it was decided by Mimi that it would be today.

We all arrived there and you'll see details through Mimi's and Marvi's pictures. The one below is the tree that I planted just behind the board, with Nuzhat joining in. The others were planted by Mimi & Marvi. Think one was done by Seema, but she was not there when Nuzhat and I arrived. May have left earlier.

Here's the 4 of us 

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Sadly Sen MW could not be there because this morning he got tested and was found to have Covid-19. We all really missed him. But a great deal of thanks, Sen MW for all your help and sending the right people to help us plant the tree. Get well soon.

•

What's in a name? Plenty, I think.

Let's start with Urdu and my First Name

The number of times my first name, Zaheer, has been written as ظہیر instead of زہیر - which is my actual name - is not so strange. Zoé is pronounced the same as Zay in Urdu. Of course, in Arabic Zay is Zay, but Zoé is Doé … Think of Eed-ul-Ad'ha, folks.

When I was at sea and ever travelled to an Arab speaking country and was asked for my name at the gate for a Pass, I said Zaheer and they always wrote زہیر ...

My father's name was Azhar (ازہر) and was written by many as اظہر for the same reason as mine was. Haven't you heard of Jaméul Azhar (جامع الازہر)?

Azhar and Zaheer with a Zoé comes from Zāhir (= obvious or seen) ... Remember اظہر من ال شمس?

Azhar and Zaheer with a Zay comes from a word meaning Light (روشنی)! Zahrā, the planet (زہرا) means the lighted one.

Azhar means the one receiving the light.

Zaheer means the one giving the light.

•

Now to the English version of my Surname

Kidvai comes from a Turkish word and is derived as being the progeny of Kazi Kidva, a scholar and a judge who came to India with the Mughal king Babar.

Originally, of course, the names were written in the Arabic/Persian script, but Mustafa Kemal changed that and wanted the language to be written in the Latin Script (perhaps partly because it was easier to 'type' and partly because of his love for the West. I am not sure). 

This has led to many problems for a language that has to be written differently: many written pieces, prose and poems, will never get translated. Who has the time to do all this, after all. Imagine if we had to change Urdu into an English Script: Mir, Ghalib, Faiz and others of that ilk would get translated. Even many religious works would get translated. But what about the lesser writers and poets, who may have occasionally written a lovely piece? Will those ever be translated? Not at all.

As you notice, there's no Q (ق) but a K (Koran for قران is something many of you must have seen). Of course we even have Kasuri for قصوری but I don't know whether there's a Turkish connection or not.

Also the word W (و) has no mention. There is only a V. This is why we write Kidvai,

Many others write Qidwai, Quidwai, Kidwai, and even a Bengali friend who wrote Kidbhaee because he followed Pir whose surname was قدوایٗ. He translated that into Bengali and was then told by a Calcuttay-vāla that bh was not correct and he should use a w. 

Those who saw an Arabic version of the letters saw ق & و and used that. Those who felt that a Q cannot be by itself and must have a U after it, used that. And many Indians remember their Minster Rafi Ahmed Kidwai and automatically use that when writing my name and emailing me (when my email spells KIDVAI with a V). Some emails, I am sure, get lost in this process. Others have my email right and get to me :)

•

Two funny tales:

1. When I was at sea and went to East Africa, I visited a Sindhi Doctor to check my health and gave him my name and home address. He wrote it down as Kidvani and thought I was a Sindhi, too. For years I kept getting letters from him about how Sindhis in Pakistan and India ought to get together and form a separate Sindhu Desh. After several letters I did write back and tell him I was a New Sindhi … and never got any mail after that. One of the top members from that group was Mumtaz Bhutto, a cousin of ZAB, who was also our Shipping Minister.

2. I once went to get a Notary Public Paper for myself and for my wife, Nuzhat. When the old Lucknowi man, with a tirchhi topi and a white kürta pyjāma asked me for my name I said Zaheer … with a Zay, please. He looked at me and then smiled and wrote it right. When he asked for my father's name I said Azhar … with a Zay, please. He smiled again and wrote that down right. Then he asked me my wife's name and I said Nuzhat. He looked up and said Shall I write this with a Zoād? 

•

While I was in UK during my seafaring days I discovered this on a catalogue I was looking at and ordered it. It arrived and now hangs in my house. 

The Latin Script reads

Non Omnis Moriar

which means

I shall not altogether die

•

I was told that it was placed in the catalogue by

Mubashir Husain Kidwai
•

I am surprised that it reads Kidvai at the top

but he continued to write Kidwai with a w.

But that's up to him, I guess.

•

NR-NP

The Bull Shit T-Shirt

Often seen, whether in petty cafés or expensive T-Shirts, this is a sign that I really hate. Had there been a sign that said No Murders, people would have said "Why not? After all they do happen. We'd like to discuss them, too." People are still discussing PM Liaquat Ali Khan's murder and new evidence keeps coming out.

I agree. In fact even a "No Shit Talk, Please" would also be stupid. Shit (Talks or real Shit) happens all the time. So we should be able to talk about it.

Religion and Politics? YES. They happen. Most times much more than the above examples.

Except that in the second part I do have to make a comment on real shit. It does happen more often if there is a Dastāngoi (not Dāstāngoi, Fawad!) going on … but that is rare.

So why should we not talk about these two things that people have different views about. Or share similar views. Or want to understand the opposite ideas and discuss them?

Some people say that it could lead to Violence.

Hmmm. Really?

Think of Sports. Football, for example. Happy crowds, shouting and jumping at every goal and the goalkeepers triumphs. Then read this.

May 24, 1964 - Estadio Nacional disaster - 328 died and 500 injured during match between Argentina and Peru when referee disallowed a goal scored at last minute which ignited crowd protest. Police fired tear gas into the crowd, causing a panic and a rush for the exits at National Stadium. 

The other day I saw in the paper that two friends finished their friendly tea at a chai-khāna. The waiter arrived and each of them wanted to pay. One got really upset in the argument and finally killed the other with a knife. No Chai at Chai Khānas, then …

And it's just not us this side of the world that's plain crazy. As I said, it happens everywhere. Even in USA (where things can get worse, really).

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My own interest in Politics (apart from some family connections) is very little. I am more interested in what probably affects humanity at large, whether it's Sapiens or Covid-19 (Please check these links). There is an occasional look at local news every few days. They all seem the same these days, anyway.

However, Religion plays an important part for me. I read a lot about it as all religions seem equally important. After all to understand what happened we need to know who the gods were at different periods of history. What were Myths? Was there any truth? What about monotheistic religions (including Zoroaster's ideas)? What about the differences between them? What about the old and some still existing religious beliefs in parts of Africa or among the American Indians? What about Bishop Spong's views. What about our own sectarian differences? And can Science and Religion work together? This is all so fascinating. 

I also need to understand when reading Literature what certain names mean. It is important to know that who was Achilles, Samson, Zeus, Hercules, Rama and Ganesh. Was Mary Magdalene the person that the Church told us about (or was she married to Jesus Christ). Who was Lilith, considered by a small few to be Adam's first wife. This is supported indirectly by Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:15-25. These people believe that it says Adam had two wives.

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Why did I write this piece at all?

Well a friend's group on What's App (which I had started) became insistent that there'd be 'No Religion' on our links coz some get offended by it as there are people of all sects. Obviously there was no such law, but many started supporting it. The fact that on every few days (and increasing in intensity) they'd  have religious posts that they loved. This did not say 'No Religion' to them.

On one day a dear friend of mine said something and another dear friend got offended. I thought this was shitty beyond belief. They have both been close friends since 1957, and there wasn't even enough 'tolerance' (to say the least) for it to be forgotten … so I left the group and am happy that I can correspond with each of them separately.

Cheers!

After 'After Sabeen'

Conversations with music in the background, a MacBook Pro on the cushion,
books and films around her, a cup of black coffee in her hand …
and uncontrollable laughter.

•

To those three who asked me why I was not in the film

1. Films are made by people who may or may not have known Sabeen during her life. 

2. It is up to the film-makers to decide who should or should not be in the film.

3. Film-makers also ask Sabeen's family as to who they should interview, specially if they did not know who they should include in the film. In this case the videographers were staying at Sabeen's mother Mahenaz/Mimi's house so she had to tell her who to include or not. The right obviously belongs to her. 

4. I was told by a common friend that the film was being made and I was not going to be in it because Mimi had given a list of who should be included. My name was not in the list. Which is fine, as far as I am concerned.

The Re-Writing of History is quite another matter

1. This is generally done where Governments (or the Victors in a war) have a different view than what the facts really were, or seemed to them to be very different. They must be seen to show their own viewpoint. This is always done in our history.

2. Sometimes Trauma of a major event removes the actual memory and forces to add new things over time.

3. Quite often one doesn't want all the facts to be added because they are unimportant in a video or writing that has a limited space and is already filled with similar stories.

4.  In After Sabeen another thing happens. Because you want to avoid some names and choose words like 'he' or 'X' and re-write history, it is ridiculous because people who see it for the first time do not understand the full story as it happened, or since they've heard or read other reports that say other things, they are confused. 

So here it goes, just in case someone wants to know. I'll keep it as short as possible …

•

Sab had been coming every day or every two days and called me downstairs in her car and we'd have a few words ... but she left quickly as she was so tied up in her team's work and her own for Dil Phaink in UK.

 On 24th April 2015 she walked into my room and said that she would sit for a few minutes and talk so that I wouldn't complain about her short visits.

We talked and the talks went on for hours. We discussed her college. Her friends. Some books. And then I asked her if she'd had any threats about the program that Moneeza was going to run in the evening. (She had said earlier that she was too busy and Moneeza would handle it all, which she did.) She said she'd had no threats at all. I said to her that neither Mimi nor I would object to it and she can go right ahead, but can we call Fahim Zaman so he could put a couple of people outside. She said "let's not call him for he's bound to say don't do this for a while and I think it should happen. After all T2F has done this for days earlier and we really had no problems or sorted them out by asking the objectors to come, too." (This is not verbatim but how I recall it in meaning.)

Fahim Zaman, once the Mayor of Karachi, had been a very close friend of Sab and her mother, as well as me. In fact after Sab's assassination he was constantly around and helped a lot with many things that happened after her death, some that we could not have done without him. To say that she wouldn't talk to Mr. X was a really bad spot in the movie. I think it would have been much easier if that sentence had been left out.

Of course I met her again in the afternoon at T2F  and we spoke for minutes until she said, "I must complete the Dil Phaink work now." Oh how the memories of that day haunt me constantly. 

At the event I also saw Mimi and spoke to Sab when she came down for a few minutes in the middle of the event. We felt that that part of the event was getting really stupid. In fact Sab said "Look at Amma, she's got her hands around her head."

When the program ended Sab and Mimi went out and then left (no point in talking about what the delays were, here.) She was driving, Mimi was in the passenger seat and the driver was at the back. Nuzhat driving our car was right behind her and I was in the passenger seat. When we reached the chaorāha I waived to them and turned left to go to dinner. Nuzhat asked my why they didn't come and I said she was going to drop Mimi and head for a party at Raania Durrani's house. (This was not mentioned in the film but it seemed to mention to two people that she was going to meet Marvi at her place.) 

We had travelled three houses when I got a call from Mimi saying they'd been shot. We travelled in a crowded road until we could find a place to turn back and head here. There was no one there as we arrived, so I called Mimi and she said she was taking Sab to NMC so we headed that way.

I called Marvi and said get to NMC right away. Marvi was in her car, I think. She seemed to have a cold. I said get there fast; Sab has been shot. In the film Marvi says that she was waiting for Sab to come at 8 and it had been 9 already. I wish she had called her, though.

Marvi said some friend called her (not that there were any other friends who knew then that Sab had been shot!) and omitted my name. Quite understable if you don't want to use my name, Marvi.

When we knew that Sab was dead (and had died in a second according to the doctors), Mimi had not been informed. Nuzhat had to rush her to AKU because there were 2 bullets in her, too. (One is still there since it would have been difficult to remove it without more risks.)

Marvi arrived as I was waiting in the passageway at NMC (I am not sure whether it was before Nuzhat left with Mimi or they were still there.) The first thing she said to me was "Is Sabeen OK now?". I held her and said "Sab is dead, Marvi". She cried and then left me to go see Sab. This is where Trauma happens to change the fact. She says she found out that Sab was dead when she saw her — forgetting that she had already been told about it minutes or so earlier.

 At one point Marvi does mention my name (a slight mistake?) and it is translated as Zac on the screen instead of my initials that everyone calls me: ZAK.

• 

Was Sab as amazing as the film shows?

Yes.

YES.

YES!

Why was she like this has, of course, much to do with her. But it would not have been possible with a different set of parents, I think.

Her father, Tallat Mahmud, was amazing in many ways and taught her much of her independence and helped it along. Her love of Advertising, her playing wonderful cricket which she played in the streets with servant's children and friends, her amazingly great driving abilities, her looking hard at everything, understanding it, and trying it perfectly right the first time, her ability to do whatever she wanted at anytime — all this came from him.

But much more than her father, Mimi was responsible. If Sab wanted to do something and Mimi didn't like it, she may have told Sab ... but let Sab decide to go ahead and do it. I have heard of so much of this from Sab and have heard Mimi mention this. I have seen Sab grow up from 14 to the day she was brutally killed and can recall many things that Mimi may not have wanted her to do but I never saw her stop Sab from doing. Even at T2F Sab discussed things with her mother but went ahead often and did things she really wanted to do.

•

Three days later:

Here are some comments I got on this!

https://aurora.dawn.com/news/1141129

An article by Qasim in Aurora quoted by Semyne Ahmed

Sumera

Intellectual dishonesty/apathy is a thing! For as long as I have known you, (I think it was earlier than 2005)

I have seen you & sabeen as one people. Always together. For a long time I thought she was your daughter!!!! I remember the birth of first peace niche, the sittings at your house before it. The wide eyed people around, I have always found you to be a very open inviting facilitating person even though you & I met through my random blogging, and after I stopped writing & deleted it, you would still invite me to your house & qawallis. You & nuzhat aunty have always taken outsiders even isolated people into your comforting fold and sabeen is an example of that. I really hate this country & it’s wretched people sometimes & today after reading your post I feel it one of those days & reasons to do so even more!!!

I am very angry! I hope I haven’t offended you!

Lots of love to you and nuzhat Aunty

Asmaa

And still after all this time , the Sun never says to the Earth “you owe me” look what happens with a love like that ; it lights the Whole sky...

Haféz.

I read the piece about after sabeen and felt like dedicating this quote to u.

Zak we all know Sabeen would’ve never approved of this but Duniya ka style aisay hee hai

Adnaan

I can’t account for you being omitted from her life and death. It’s implausible to even suggest that you had no hand in her life. You were her mentor and her mental solace. That relationship was a constant for you in so many formats.

You cannot edit truth. You can mould it to suit your needs. But the truth remains. You both had a magical relationship.

Zaheer

I am not in pain at all because I was not in the film. I think her mother has every right to decide that. It doesn't take me out of Sab's life or her from mine. My reason was to put things right about the re-writing because that relinks the story in different ways.

Jamal

Her story without ZAK  is incomplete ... half told truth is a lie.. irony is that no one would benefit from it .. 😞

It's always worth reading while you s••t!

Sorry about the title, but I didn't know what to say.

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OK, so you go to s••t at least once a day (more often if you have diarrhoea). You can waste that time with one end of you piling cr•p-on-cr•p … but how about using the other end for reading :) — This is intended for those that don't read: Please put up a shelf or a place to keep books in you toilet.

My toilet (like many of my friends) has a place that has books

Mir, Ghalib, Faiz

So there are three Shaeri books
that are permanently there

&

Then there are always temporary books.

•

Here are the ones that live on the shelf these days.

I love Short Stories

(who wants to read a whole novel there!)

or pieces that you can randomly browse through.

Graphic Novels are great here. 

This one was a gift from Joe Sacco,

one of my favouritest graphic novelists.

(Thanks, Muneeza, for carrying it back for me)

 •

And one always has books that are favourites
and readable anywhere, anytime.

Mine, at the moment, is

which has become available among old books.

Try Amazon.

The Rape of the A*P*E* (American Puritan Ethic) is the ultimate sex book. It is the hilarious but true story of 27 salacious years of American history - the Sex Revolution - America's longest and hottest war. Allen Sherman: "There is a brief but telling instant when a boy is taking off a girl's underpants, during which she must give her assistance; if she doesn't lift her behind a split second, it is impossible. Ours was a nation of girls who would rather die than openly contribute to their own seduction. It is a tribute to the girls of 1940 that they learned how to lift their asses without seeming to be lifting their asses. Sometimes they did it with a ho-hum and a stretch, pretending to be utterly bored, meanwhile shifting their position just long enough for the expert panty snatcher to do his job. I have witnessed it many times, this fantastic arabesque girls do and every time I am overwhelmed with the sheer creative artistry of it. It belongs among the great moments of ballet.

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If you really like small pieces to read,

there's Blinklist, anyway.

It's a superb introduction and a collection

of books that you may love to buy later,

or be happy with the stuff already there.

Here's an example from today's FREE book.

Don't forget that you can read this

(and the following 6-7 pages)

or even have them read out to you.

•

My request is to please read.

•

One of the ways that our nation is in a terrible way

is because they don't read.

•

Some of you may not like to read

… for which I'd first suggest seeing a psychiatrist …

but there is a solution:

Audible

is exceptional.

I listen to AudioBooks very frequently and it is great when I am on a long drive (I don't drive, but my wife is the driving force in the house) or in the s••house. If you haven't tried it, go to Audible and try a FREE trial. Or, if you are not into subscribing, look at LoyalBooks and find free audiobooks.

• • •

While I was writing this blogpost a friend turned up

and saw my photographs.

She wanted to see the Metal Bookend and where did I get it.

I showed it to her (she loved it!) and told her that

this was available years ago in Karachi

when we were a slightly more civilised society.

•

For others, here it is

(Remember toilets with a chain and cistern above your heads)

• • •

Sad for me was the fact that

Sabeen wanted it to be given to her after I die.

I wrote this on its bottom and shared it with Ragni Marea.

How awful that she was assassinated.

We all miss you, Sab.

Immensely.

A dozen years when you started this …

… so here's a happy birthday to PN/T2F

I should have gone there to wish it a Happy Birthday but I was not invited … Of course people are not 'generally' invited here, but this time they were.

Which explains things, too.

After all it was a celebration where people who hated the others for what had been done to them (from removal at their official capacity to the event where they were forced out without reasons) were now in smiling glee with those people. What could I have done there? It's hardly good form to bring that up in a crowd. Or even otherwise.

Wish you were here to have a great day, Sabeen.

14th August 2018

Whether it is humans

Questioners

Politicians

Doctors

Lawyers

Labourers

and, of course

Christians

Hindus

Sikhs

Bohris

Agha Khanis

Ahmadis

Shias,

Sunnis

Buddhists

Agnostics

Atheists

(or even the one possibly remaining Jew)

Or whether it is animals

Donkeys

Dogs,

Cows

Sheep

Goats

Camels

(and even some Birds)

People really do not care

(except for a decreasing number of life lovers).

Aaj merā dil phir say dükhā haé …