What's in a name? Plenty, I think.

Let's start with Urdu and my First Name

The number of times my first name, Zaheer, has been written as ظہیر instead of زہیر - which is my actual name - is not so strange. Zoé is pronounced the same as Zay in Urdu. Of course, in Arabic Zay is Zay, but Zoé is Doé … Think of Eed-ul-Ad'ha, folks.

When I was at sea and ever travelled to an Arab speaking country and was asked for my name at the gate for a Pass, I said Zaheer and they always wrote زہیر ...

My father's name was Azhar (ازہر) and was written by many as اظہر for the same reason as mine was. Haven't you heard of Jaméul Azhar (جامع الازہر)?

Azhar and Zaheer with a Zoé comes from Zāhir (= obvious or seen) ... Remember اظہر من ال شمس?

Azhar and Zaheer with a Zay comes from a word meaning Light (روشنی)! Zahrā, the planet (زہرا) means the lighted one.

Azhar means the one receiving the light.

Zaheer means the one giving the light.

•

Now to the English version of my Surname

Kidvai comes from a Turkish word and is derived as being the progeny of Kazi Kidva, a scholar and a judge who came to India with the Mughal king Babar.

Originally, of course, the names were written in the Arabic/Persian script, but Mustafa Kemal changed that and wanted the language to be written in the Latin Script (perhaps partly because it was easier to 'type' and partly because of his love for the West. I am not sure). 

This has led to many problems for a language that has to be written differently: many written pieces, prose and poems, will never get translated. Who has the time to do all this, after all. Imagine if we had to change Urdu into an English Script: Mir, Ghalib, Faiz and others of that ilk would get translated. Even many religious works would get translated. But what about the lesser writers and poets, who may have occasionally written a lovely piece? Will those ever be translated? Not at all.

As you notice, there's no Q (ق) but a K (Koran for قران is something many of you must have seen). Of course we even have Kasuri for قصوری but I don't know whether there's a Turkish connection or not.

Also the word W (و) has no mention. There is only a V. This is why we write Kidvai,

Many others write Qidwai, Quidwai, Kidwai, and even a Bengali friend who wrote Kidbhaee because he followed Pir whose surname was قدوایٗ. He translated that into Bengali and was then told by a Calcuttay-vāla that bh was not correct and he should use a w. 

Those who saw an Arabic version of the letters saw ق & و and used that. Those who felt that a Q cannot be by itself and must have a U after it, used that. And many Indians remember their Minster Rafi Ahmed Kidwai and automatically use that when writing my name and emailing me (when my email spells KIDVAI with a V). Some emails, I am sure, get lost in this process. Others have my email right and get to me :)

•

Two funny tales:

1. When I was at sea and went to East Africa, I visited a Sindhi Doctor to check my health and gave him my name and home address. He wrote it down as Kidvani and thought I was a Sindhi, too. For years I kept getting letters from him about how Sindhis in Pakistan and India ought to get together and form a separate Sindhu Desh. After several letters I did write back and tell him I was a New Sindhi … and never got any mail after that. One of the top members from that group was Mumtaz Bhutto, a cousin of ZAB, who was also our Shipping Minister.

2. I once went to get a Notary Public Paper for myself and for my wife, Nuzhat. When the old Lucknowi man, with a tirchhi topi and a white kürta pyjāma asked me for my name I said Zaheer … with a Zay, please. He looked at me and then smiled and wrote it right. When he asked for my father's name I said Azhar … with a Zay, please. He smiled again and wrote that down right. Then he asked me my wife's name and I said Nuzhat. He looked up and said Shall I write this with a Zoād? 

•

While I was in UK during my seafaring days I discovered this on a catalogue I was looking at and ordered it. It arrived and now hangs in my house. 

The Latin Script reads

Non Omnis Moriar

which means

I shall not altogether die

•

I was told that it was placed in the catalogue by

Mubashir Husain Kidwai
•

I am surprised that it reads Kidvai at the top

but he continued to write Kidwai with a w.

But that's up to him, I guess.

•

It's always worth reading while you s••t!

Sorry about the title, but I didn't know what to say.

•

OK, so you go to s••t at least once a day (more often if you have diarrhoea). You can waste that time with one end of you piling cr•p-on-cr•p … but how about using the other end for reading :) — This is intended for those that don't read: Please put up a shelf or a place to keep books in you toilet.

My toilet (like many of my friends) has a place that has books

Mir, Ghalib, Faiz

So there are three Shaeri books
that are permanently there

&

Then there are always temporary books.

•

Here are the ones that live on the shelf these days.

I love Short Stories

(who wants to read a whole novel there!)

or pieces that you can randomly browse through.

Graphic Novels are great here. 

This one was a gift from Joe Sacco,

one of my favouritest graphic novelists.

(Thanks, Muneeza, for carrying it back for me)

 •

And one always has books that are favourites
and readable anywhere, anytime.

Mine, at the moment, is

which has become available among old books.

Try Amazon.

The Rape of the A*P*E* (American Puritan Ethic) is the ultimate sex book. It is the hilarious but true story of 27 salacious years of American history - the Sex Revolution - America's longest and hottest war. Allen Sherman: "There is a brief but telling instant when a boy is taking off a girl's underpants, during which she must give her assistance; if she doesn't lift her behind a split second, it is impossible. Ours was a nation of girls who would rather die than openly contribute to their own seduction. It is a tribute to the girls of 1940 that they learned how to lift their asses without seeming to be lifting their asses. Sometimes they did it with a ho-hum and a stretch, pretending to be utterly bored, meanwhile shifting their position just long enough for the expert panty snatcher to do his job. I have witnessed it many times, this fantastic arabesque girls do and every time I am overwhelmed with the sheer creative artistry of it. It belongs among the great moments of ballet.

•

If you really like small pieces to read,

there's Blinklist, anyway.

It's a superb introduction and a collection

of books that you may love to buy later,

or be happy with the stuff already there.

Here's an example from today's FREE book.

Don't forget that you can read this

(and the following 6-7 pages)

or even have them read out to you.

•

My request is to please read.

•

One of the ways that our nation is in a terrible way

is because they don't read.

•

Some of you may not like to read

… for which I'd first suggest seeing a psychiatrist …

but there is a solution:

Audible

is exceptional.

I listen to AudioBooks very frequently and it is great when I am on a long drive (I don't drive, but my wife is the driving force in the house) or in the s••house. If you haven't tried it, go to Audible and try a FREE trial. Or, if you are not into subscribing, look at LoyalBooks and find free audiobooks.

• • •

While I was writing this blogpost a friend turned up

and saw my photographs.

She wanted to see the Metal Bookend and where did I get it.

I showed it to her (she loved it!) and told her that

this was available years ago in Karachi

when we were a slightly more civilised society.

•

For others, here it is

(Remember toilets with a chain and cistern above your heads)

• • •

Sad for me was the fact that

Sabeen wanted it to be given to her after I die.

I wrote this on its bottom and shared it with Ragni Marea.

How awful that she was assassinated.

We all miss you, Sab.

Immensely.

Remembering you …

It launches at T2F on the 26th.

•

This is your first book, Sabeen,

and it has you being written about in

Newspapers and Magazines.

It has poems

(including one that you wrote).

It has people from all over the world talking

about you and your courage and love for humanity

and more, more, more.

•

Here is the cover in the English part

•

Here is the inside page behind the English Cover

•

Here is the inside page behind the other side's  Cover

•

Here is the cover in Urdu & Sindhi

with Mina's painting of you that she gave to me.

 •

I cried reading all of it.
But I do that on most days, anyway.

•

The T2F Readers 1 & 2

When T2F started 10 years ago Sabeen and I decided that every month we'd bring out a single magazine that we'd keep for reading at the old Ittehad T2F.

We did two of them in the next  months… and a once-regular visitor, who came to T2F almost every day, said: They are lovely. Why don't you print them and pass them around, free? Not that that would have been easy, what with printing costs. And then to give them out FREE?

I went up to him and whispered closely in his ear: We've done many things and have been called several names, but 'Chootiya' we have never been called.

A month passed and both magazines disappeared from T2F.

We were told that they had been taken away by him.

And he said he had our permission.

•

So the T2F Readers ended then.

•

For those who remember them, and for those who are new to T2F, I thought I'd celebrate Sabeen's 43rd Birthday by putting both of these as Downloadable PDFs today. The Cover Art was Sabeen's - a lovely designer - and the selections were mine. 

•

Click the links below.

Covers and Magazines will be Downloaded

•

T2F Reader Volume 1

Cover Art 1

Magazine 1

T2F Reader Volume 2

Cover Art 2

Magazine 2

•

Have a really happy birthday, Sab.

کاشف نصیر - صبین کے قتل پر

ایک اور آواز خاموش ہوئی

مصنف: کاشف نصیر 

وقت: پیر، 27 اپریل 2015

آنکھوں میں چمک، چہرے پر امید سے لبریز تازگی، لب پر مسکراہٹ، لہجے میں اپنائیت اور دل پھیک انداز بیان، وہ جب بولتی تو سامع سننا چاہتا، وہ جب سنتی تو مقرر بولنا چاہتا۔ خاموش اور بامہر زبانوں کو جرأت اظہار اور قوت گویائی کی تقسیم گویا اسکی متعہ زندگی تھی اور اسی جرم کی پاداش میں خود اسکی اپنی زبان کو ہمیشہ ہمیشہ کے لئے خاموش کردیا گیا۔

صبین محمود اب اس دنیا میں نہیں ہے لیکن اس نے اپنی مختصر سی زندگی کو بھرپور، متحرک اور بےباک گزارا۔ کنیرڈ کالج لاہور سے گریجویشن کے بعد اس نے اپنے کیرئیر کا آغاز ایک ماہرِ ٹکنالوجی کے طور پر کیا۔ اپنے استاد اور رفیق زہیر قدوأی اور سافٹ ویر صنعت کی جہاں آراء کے ساتھ ملکر پاکستان میں پہلی بار ملٹی میڈیا سی ڈیز متعارف کرائیں جن میں فیض احمد فیض کے کلام پر مبنی سی ڈی آج بھی اپنی مثال آپ ہے۔

اسکے اندر ایک عجیب سی بے چینی تھی جیسے کوئی بپھرا سمندر اسکے وجود سے باہر نکلنے کے لئے بے تاب ہو۔ یہ بے تابی اسے کبھی سکون سے بیٹھنے نہیں دیتی تھی۔ 2007 میں جب پاکستان میں سوشل میڈیا نے سر اٹھایا تو جیسے اسکے ہاتھوں میں جنت کی کوئی کنجی لگ گئی ہو۔ بلاگرز اور آن لائن دانشوروں کو متحرک کرنے اور ایک دوسرے سے قریب لانے کے لئے اس نے لاتعداد کانفرنس، سمٹ اور میلے منعقد کروائے۔

وہ ایک سچی اور کھری لبرل دانشور تھی۔ اسکی ترقی پسند سوچ، مطالعہ، قوت برداشت اور رواداری اسے جعلی لبرلز سے نمایاں طور پر جدا کرتی تھیں۔ آپ اس سے ہر بات پر اختلاف کرسکتے تھے لیکن کسی بھی اختلافی نقطے پر اسکے چہرے کا رنگ نہیں بدلتا تھا۔ وہ نظریاتی رواداری کی قائل تھی اور ڈائیلاگ اسکا ہتھیار تھا۔ اگست 2012 میں اس نے ہند و پاک سوشل میڈیا سمٹ کا انعقاد کیا تو میں نے اس تقریب میں امریکی سفارت خانے کے کردار اور ایک مخصوص طبقے کو پاکستان کی واحد آواز کے طور پر پیش کرنے پر شدید تنقید کی۔  یہی تنقید آگے چل کر ہماری دوستی کا سبب بنی۔

اس نے معاشرے میں بلا خوف و خطر گفتگو کی روایت کو زندہ کرنے، تخلیق کاروں کو ذہنی بانجھ پن سے نکالنے، طلبہ و طالبات میں غیر نصابی کتب کا شوق پیدا کرنے اور عام لوگوں کو کھل کر زندگی جینے کا حوصلہ دینے کے لئے ایک گوشہ عافیت “ٹی ٹو ایف” قائم کیا تھا، جہاں گزشتہ آٹھ سالوں سے روزانہ کی بنیاد پر کوئی نہ کوئی تقریب ضرور منعقد ہوتی۔ کبھی شعر و ادب کی محفل برپا ہوتی تو کبھی لکھاری مل بیٹھتے، کبھی ساز اور سر کی لو چھیڑی جاتی تو کبھی مصوری کی نمائش اور مقابلے منعقد ہوتے اور کبھی محفل سماع سجتی۔

میری اس سے متعدد ملاقاتیں ہوئی اور اس نے کم و بیش ہر ملاقات میں اس اندیشے کا اظہار کیا کہ اسے دیکھا جارہا ہے، اسکی حرکات پر نظر رکھی جاتی ہیں اور اسے نشانہ بھی بنایا جاسکتا ہے۔ اسکا ہر دوست اسکے اندیشوں سے باخبر تھا۔

تین سال پہلے اسکی ویلانٹائن ڈے کمپین کے شدید ردعمل سے اور سال پہلے ٹی ٹو ایف پر خطرناک پارسل ارسال کرکے بھی اسے ہراساں کرنے کی کوشش کی گئی۔ یہی وجہ ہے کہ میرے نزدیک اسکے قتل کو صرف اور صرف بلوچستان اور ماما قدیر سے متعلق پروگرام کے تناظر میں دیکھنا درست نہیں ہے۔ اس میں کچھ شک نہیں ہے کہ اسکے گرد خطرات بہت تھے لیکن وہ کبھی خوفزدہ نہیں ہوئی یہاں تک کہ جس خوف کے حسار کو وہ توڑنے نکلی تھی اس میں خود الجھ کر بہادری و جوانمردی کا ایک عنوان بن گئی ہے۔ اسکی موت میں ان لوگوں کے لئے ایک پیغام ہے جو بولنا چاہتے ہیں، لکھنا چاہتے ہیں اور اپنی مرضی سے جینا چاہتے ہیں

It's Abi's 116th birthday today …

Dr. Azhar Kidvai:  11.04.1900 — 19.09.1963

•••••

For many days Nuzhat and I have been wanting to publish Abi's Prose and Poetry. Ragni and Sabeen wanted me to do so, too. In fact Sabeen said she'd publish it all at T2F's publishing house that, sadly, never began (and probably won't).

It was after Sabeen's assassination that I decided that I'd have Abi's works published in a website, so it is is now on the net and you can go there and see the beginnings that are complete. While his Ghazals and Nazms will be ready at some point this year — and they will be in his handwriting — his prose selection has been completed now.

Look under Naee Paod in the titles here. The pieces were written between 1936 and 1939 and were published in 1939 under the Shirkaté Adabiyah (Dehli) and printed at Dilli Printing Works (Dehli). 

There were 1000 copies printed and all (except 31 that were gifted by Abi to friends and family members) were sold at Rs 1 each. (Does the price surprise you? That was a good price, you know. I have Ustad Amir Minai's works, published in 1941, that cost Rs. 2 only.)

•••••

Oh, and while you are there, do take a look at Laghv Goi, his humorous verses written from 1924 to 1935. You might be surprised to know through one poem that what was then known as Aligarh Ki Zabaan is almost the same as spoken today … often known as Urdish.