Beanz Meanderings 2008

Come all ye faithful

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

It’s that time of year again. The first banner has been spotted by spies hovering about Moscone Center in San Francisco. In a new identity typeface (Myriad Pro Light), Steve says:

2008. There’s something in the air.

SAVE THE DATE:

Steve Jobs Live at Macworld

Tuesday 15th January, 2008

5:00 pm GMT | 10:00 pm PST

Major Mac sites and Engadget will live blog the SteveNote. Tune in …

Karachi

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Irritants!

Friday, May 16th, 2008

THIS WEEK’S IRRITANTS

- Snap.com popups on WordPress blogs (yes, I know they can be turned off)

- Humourless activists

- People who confirm their attendance on Facebook and then don’t show up

- All flavours of Windows (eternal irritant)

- Pontificating academics

- KMB commentors

- People who can’t stand upright without leaning on walls

- Shitty microphones

- Accountants

- Retired army officers

- DHA surveyors 

Upcoming diatribes:

1. The fashion industry and the manufacture of insecurity

2. The advertising industry’s appropriation of aspirational language

Insanely Thrilled

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Cheesy as it may sound, today is one of the happiest days of my life. 

After saving pennies for a year, I got my insanely great Mac Plus in 1990, from Solutions Unlimited. It had an 8 MHz processor, 1 MB of RAM, and a single floppy disk drive. No hard disk! I learnt everything I know about the Mac OS on that Mac Plus, using a single 800K floppy disk. One disk for System 6 and the apps (MacPaint, MacDraw, MacWrite) and another disk for saving data. Pity today’s brats born into a world of terabyte storage – you’ll never know the joys of infinite disk swapping! Or the sweet, sweet sounds of Quack and Sosumi. 

Anyway, after a couple of years, I traded in my Mac Plus for the finest Mac e.v.e.r. made – the Mac SE. Many tears were shed but the uber coolness of the SE and the awesomest keyboard and mouse Apple ever shipped, made it okay – after a while. 

Since then, I have used and owned dozens of Macs – my current computer is a 15″ MacBook Pro. It runs Leopard, has gigabytes of hard disk space, a DVD burner, an aluminum exterior, a glossy screen, a built-in iSight camera, blah, blah, blah. It’s a fantastic Mac and I adore it. 

BUT … nothing can compare to the original ‘computer for the rest of us’.

My Mac Plus was never resold by Solutions Unlimited. For a decade and a half, it travelled from one office storage cabinet to another, and finally ended up in Zak and Nuz’s kothri where it rested in dignity for 10 years.

Today, the 6th of May 2008, after 16 years, I have been reunited with the Mac Plus that changed my life. 

I can’t stop the tears. 

And now, off I go to polish my beautiful Mac Plus back to its original lustre.

Nazo’s Gone :(

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

The Great “New Facebook” Controversy

Monday, September 15th, 2008

When I first started using Facebook in mid-2007, I wrote a few posts about its user interface, aesthetics, and its privacy policy, here, here, and here. 

Design is much, much more than making things line up – but sadly, not enough people get that. What is most interesting and intriguing about Facebook today, well, to me, is how passionately and intensely people are reacting to v2.0. For a lot of avid Facebookers, www.new.facebook.com represents everything that is wrong and evil in the world. Almost all my “friends” unequivocally HATE the new layout and interface design choices made by Zuckerberg and Co in an attempt to improve overall user experience. 

All my Facebook angst aside, it is simply unbelievable that a web application can get people, most of whom have nothing to do with design and technology, to react to a new layout with such fervour. It is irrelevant that most people don’t like the new Facebook. What is stupendous is the discourse surrounding it. I am just blown away, and as a UI/UX practioner, am thrilled that people have such strong ownership of a site and its design. 

Facebook is a giant ecosystem and it’s very, very brave of the company to have made such bold changes in a relatively short time period. They are wildly successful and didn’t haveto undertake such a major revamp. Change is very hard to digest and it takes nerves of steel and a lot of guts to pull off something like this. So, hats off to you guys!

EuroTweets 03

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

EuroTweets – Part 3 (top_down!)

6th September 2008

2:10 am: Stranded in Hamar! The first train to Oslo is at 5:12 am. No buses, no taxis, lots of drunken sods. I remind myself that I came here for a higher purpose. Yeaaaah, I don’t need self-help books to cope with trying situations 

There are about 50 people waiting for taxis. Finding safety in numbers, I sit down near the taxi stand, repeating various combinations of the following, “I am not cold. I am not scared. I am not hungry. I am not tired. So what if I don’t have a phone. I will make it back to Oslo in time to catch the ship to Copenhagen. Etc”. 

This tactic worked for about 15 minutes. I am now officially cold and scared and not entirely sure why the only BST track that comes to mind right now is “And When I Die …”

I set off in search of a hotel.

2:30 am: The lady at the front desk of the first hotel I spotted commiserates but says she is not authorized to allow me to sit in the empty hotel lobby. All the hotel restaurants are closed so that’s not an option either. She says she understands my plight and feels very sorry for me. So I ask her to take some action – you know, “NOW is the time for all good men to come to the aid of …” Finally she relents and says, OK, you can sit. Whew!! So, I park myself down, exhausted but utterly relieved. Armed with a Telenor wifi scratch card and an iPod touch, I spend an hour connected to an infinitely safer world. 

I suddenly remember I don’t have a ticket and am not sure if they can be purchased on the train. Panic sets in. The Norwegian Railways site states that the Hamar station will open at 7:45 am so that’s not an option. Kiosks, however, are available 24/7. 

4:45 am: I thank the young lady profusely for giving me shelter in a time of great need and head back to the station in search of a kiosk. 

4:59 am: Frozen stiff and ticketless. Payment by credit card requires the entry of a PIN and none of my cards are coming through and this retarded kiosk won’t accept cash.

5:02 am: Signs of life. An elderly couple arrives. We talk about politics, technology, and music. They assure me that tickets can be purchased on the train. 

5:20 am: The train is late. It’s an overnight train coming in from the North and threatens to be full. 

5:30 am: Finally aboard. I manage to find a seat. The conductor walks right by me. I am the only new person in the cabin and everyone else is fast asleep. Hmmm … I toy seriously with the idea of committing my first crime. To date, I have never stolen so much as chewing gum or even sugar on an airplane. I tell myself it’s the conductor’s responsibility to be vigilant and check tickets. If he hasn’t spotted me, that’s his problem. Haven’t I been through enough. Norway is a rich country. 225 kroner isn’t going to bring NSB down. Etc. 

When he passed by me, again, I turned around and tapped him. Handed over the 225 kroner and lost all faith in my potential to not do the right thing. LOSER. 

7:00 am: The train pulls into Oslo S. I have made it. I race back to the hotel with bloodshot eyes, pack my suitcase, take a shower, chat with everyone on Skype, and head downstairs for breakfast. Whew. I walk past Sacha, the FK chief in Asia, and feel like an errant child who bunked a whole day of school. He always looks stern, there’s nothing special about today. I console myself. 

9:15 am: Checked out. Waiting to board the bus that will take us to Oslo Harbour. 

EuroTweets 02

Monday, September 8th, 2008

EuroTweets – Part 2 (top_down!)

5th September 2008

4:00 pm: About to put my grand plan into action. Sneaking out of the hotel now to embark on a mad journey to see one of my favourite bands. The train is at 5:25 pm and it’s a 10 minute walk to the train station. OK OK, so I’m excited and a bit nervous.

5:25 pm: The train never came. So, I went downstairs to inqurie and the gentleman at the counter said, “Madame, I am afraid the train is very, very delayed”. As a South Asian, where being late is a fashion statement and a national characteristic, I thought, there goes my concert!! He then went on to say, “the train will now depart at 5:41 pm.” I nearly burst out laughing but he looked so solemn and grave that I resisted. 

7:30 pm: Have arrived in Hamar, a quaint little town in Norway. Population: 30,000. Now headed to Strandgateparken, a 10 minute walk from the train station. 

8:00 pm: Listening to a bonus blues band, Big Rooney and the Doghouse. Everyone quaffing beer like it’s going out of style. The Rooney’s are great fun and the bass player is fantastic.

9:00 pm – 11:55 pm: Waiting and waiting for the other two bands to wrap up. BST will be on at midnight. It’s an absolute pleasure to be in an arena where the sound setup is phenomenal. The guys are professional, concerned, running around all over getting everything just right. And you can tell that the sound is awesome when the music hits you right where it matters. 

11:55: BST guitarist, pianist, and drummer up on stage, doing sound checks.

6th September 2008

12:10 am: AND THEY’RE ON!!

Like medicine baby, you’re good for me

Like honey, darlin’ girl, I know you’re sweet to me

Each passing day, brings us much closer together

And the love you bring me darlin’, just gets better and better …

BST has kicked off the show with More and More.

WOOT!! They’re super. 

Steve Katz, the founding father of BST has been reunited with the band after 35 years. He’s singing Sometimes in Winter, one of my all-time BST faves. I am not bleeding or sweating but tears are being shed. Wow. This is overwhelming.

They’re singing all the hits:

I Can’t Quit Her, I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know, Got To Get You Into My Life, And When I Die, Hi-De-Ho , Lucretia Mac Evil, Spinning Wheel, God Bless the Child …

Some new stuff too, mostly jazz/rock instrumentals. Fabulous.

And the grand finale … You’ve Made Me So Very Happy!

I was in the centre of the front row – a couple of feet away from the stage – went nuts singing and dancing. Just too good to be true.

Will write more on BST later …

The concert ended at 2:00 am. Made my way back to the station to discover that it was closed. So, there I was, in a strange, very cold town, surrounded by drunken men, and no way to get back to Oslo. 

More later … 

EuroTweets 01

Friday, September 5th, 2008

EuroTweets – Part 1 (read from the bottom up)

5th September 2008

11:00 am: 9 hours to go for the Blood, Sweat and Tears concert. BST started out in Greenwich Village, New York in 1968 and was the first band to combine rock with jazz. This is a dream come true. Norway has been very lucky for me. When I was here in 2006, I managed to catch HAIR – TheTribal Love/Rock Musical in Oslo. Getting into the show was an amazing experience in itself. And now, 2 years later, BST is performing in Hamar, 90 minutes from Oslo by train. Thanks to Google, Google Maps and Google Translate, I have a one way train ticket and a ticket to the show. I do not however, have a ticket to get back to Oslo. So … I am considering applying for a job as BST Groupie and not coming back to Pakistan. 

10:15 am: Varun Vidyarthi is now speaking on Dialogue for Sustainable Change. Interesting model for self-development in villages.

9:30 am: Any Member of Parliament can nominate an individual for the Nobel Peace Prize. The Norwegian Nobel Institute does not “approve” these nominations. As the President of the United States has plenty of buddies in Congress, I now understand why George Bush has been nominated for the Peace Prize 5 years in a row. Each year, when the news breaks, the Director receives 200+ messages that all begin with “YOU IDIOT …”

9:00 am: Thought I’d be bored to tears, but the Nobel Institute Director was edgy, witty, and very sharp. 

8:45 am: “Can the Nobel Peace Prize Bring Peace in the World?” Short answer: NO!

8:30 am: Listening to a talk by the Director of the Norwegian Nobel Institute, Prof. Geir Lundestad.

7:00 am: Dying for proper coffee. Instant coffee is punishment for one’s sins.

4th September 2008

10:30 pm: Baah. They gave us dinner at 5:00 pm!!!! Going out in search of a jazz bar. 

10:00 pm: Heard “now that you’re gone” by Sheryl Crow in Olso Central Station. The chorus is excellent, listening to it now on songza.com (built by Aza Raskin). Aza is now working on “Ubiquity” – an experiment in connecting the web with language, kinda like AppleScript … Aza is Jef Raskin’s son. Contrary to what Steve will have you believe, Jef is the father of the Macintosh. 

9:00 pm: Met some great people from Zambia, Zimbabwe and Kenya. They’re all so clued in to the circus that is pakistani politics. 

8:00 pm: Wondering whether to bunk the lecture series tomorrow. Disappointed by the shenanigans of the development world. FK may well get swallowed up by Norad. The games continue … 

7:30 pm: Listened to a lot of world-famous fiddlers and violinists today. Even a didgeridoo player. One thing that struck me about Rome was the refreshing lack of big brands and conspicuous consumerism. 

6:30 pm: I do not like Norwegian food. I want noodles and squid. 

5:00 pm: Got my ticket for the Blood, Sweat, and Tears show  Can’t believe i am going to a “real” concert. 

2:30 pm: Listening to Nobel Laureate, Muhammad Yunus at Oslo City Hall. Yunus is talking about the Grameen alliance with Danone and the power of social business. 

9:00 am: FK International Advisory Council Meeting 2008 declared open. 350 participants from every continent. Talks and Music …

3rd September 2008

5:00 pm: They told us it was a 03-05 minute easy walk from NationalTheater station to the Radisson Hotel. They lied. Had to walk through a park with hills to get there, luggage and all. 

4:00 pm: After much ado, have landed in cold, rainy Oslo. Am hungry and exhausted and fed up of cold sandwiches that taste of nothing. 

9:20 am: Had a gorgeous doppio espresso – of all places in a chinese café. Paid for coffee for the first time in 16 months. Humph! 

9:00 am: No time to discover Rome by day. Now headed to Termini to catch a train to the airport. 

2nd September 2008

11:55 pm: We’ve decided it’s ok to skewer people who read self-help books and think “The Secret” is the answer. 42 has always been the only answer.

11:45 pm: From guerilla information architecture to politics, we’re all talked out now.

11:30 pm: It’s late but the conversation is good – as are the after-dinner digestive aids!

10:45 pm: Andi is providing deep insights, uhh, gossip, about the Mona Lisa – makes you think twice about art restoration. 

10:18 pm: Andi and I are launching “The Anti-Motivational-Speaker Movement”. Positions open.

10:00 pm: Enchanted by Roman waiters, balconies, and alleyways.

9:30 pm: Icecream digested. Trying to decide whether to have more icecream for dinner. Decided on pizza. In high spirits!

9:00 pm: Getting a quick intro to Rome; culture, politics, media, history, current affairs, courtesy new friend and tour guide, Andi Shiraz.

8:30 pm: Italian icecream is a spiritual experience. Settled for chocolate orange and mint. Tasted banana and coconut. Divine.

8:00 pm: Going wild with desire in an Italian gelato parlor. Can’t choose. Want at least 22 scoops of icecream.

4:00 pm: Saw most of Rome from the 8th floor terrace of the FAO/UN offices. Exhausted after being up for 36 hours. Choosing icecream over sight-seeing.

Hmmm …

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

I’m wondering about a few things, in no particular order:

1. What makes people hit the “Attending” radio button on Facebook Events when they don’t intend to show up or aren’t sure if they can/will show up? Do they not see the “Maybe Attending” option? Is this a “usability” issue or is it an “I’m an asshole” issue? 

2. What makes Pakistanis immune to basic norms of decency and courtesy when they’re at public performances? What dots can’t they connect?

3. Why aren’t a large number of investment bankers and CEOs in jail? 

4. Why can’t people figure out that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and countless others like him are a farce/sham/scam? 

5. Why are plumbers and programmers such %%^&!@#$$?

6. Why do some people profess great love and call only when they need something?

7. Should I come out and say what I feel and risk a conflict situation?

8. Why is humility in such short supply?

9. Will it work out or is this the beginning of the end?